Janell Sihay

Optimal anxiety level

I slept around 9:00 PM, only to wake up at 2:00 AM because I felt the need to go to the bathroom. But I woke up feeling anxious about all the things I need to do, and now I can't go back to sleep without writing a little bit.

I always avoid not getting enough sleep. I had a terrible panic attack a while back, it was so bad that I was crying non-stop. In hindsight, I think what exacerbated it was the fact that I was running on 2 hours of sleep for 3 consecutive nights. Until now I still feel a little traumatized by that. I really thought I was going to die.

Anyway, at least right now I got 5 hours of sleep. I don't think that's not too bad.

I am currently writing some bits and pieces of my thesis proposal. I remember my counselor telling me that it's okay to not have a perfect output right away. It's okay to just write anything that's on your mind, in her words, 'sabog-sabog.' These chunks of thoughts may not be valuable at the moment but the more these are, the more connections can be made, the clearer and succinct your writing can be.

Guess being anxious helped me a little here.

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