Janell Sihay

Finding structure, finding something else

In one of my previous posts, I reflected on how I think I need a structure for me to get things done.

It got a lot of hits. As of this writing, it has 522 toasts and is currently the #1 trending blog post in the Discovery feed.

I first noticed it was getting traction when I received a handful of e-mails in response to the post which, by the way, I greatly appreciated.

Later did I find out that my blog entry was posted on Hacker News. I have never heard of that site before. I checked the comments, and it turns out it stirred a lot of debates, which I think is the reason why it got a wider reach. That, and maybe people actually resonated with my thoughts.

To be honest, I am not quite comfortable having my blog posted on another site and reaching more people. I've talked about this before, sometimes I don't like people knowing what I think, most probably because I don't like being confronted or criticized. But, I realized that in order for me to grow and learn more about life, I might need to break free from the echo chamber that is my own thoughts and start being more of a sponge, readily able to take in all the ideas and experiences.

Anyway, I still don't have the morning routine, the structure I was looking for. Instead, what I did do or realized were the following:

  1. I started reading 4,000 Weeks by Oliver Burkeman, as recommended to me by a reader of the post. So far, I am enjoying it.
  2. It dawned on me that I might have undiagnosed ADHD.
  3. I thought maybe I set up myself to "fail" by putting a lot of pressure on myself.
  4. I have poor sleep hygiene
  5. I don't like doing difficult tasks
  6. I think too much

Sometimes I wish I could just turn off my brain.