I think I figured it out:

• why I am easily overwhelmed
• why I am so hard on myself
• why I can't take compliments
• why I can't get things done
• why I easily give up when things get challenging

it might be because I have low self-esteem.

What may have caused it, I have yet to figure out. But I think that would involve some professional help.

Some references say that it stems from childhood experiences. However, I think for me it started in college. I don't remember being so critical of myself when I was younger. Further, I think it has gotten worse in 2020, at the height of the pandemic when I started graduate school, and the year my mom had her brain injury. Sometimes I think there's some trauma from that year that I still have yet to process (that I am badly coping with alcohol) but I am still delaying it until I get my degree.

Now that I have acknowledged my poor self-esteem, the next logical step would be to create a plan in improving it.

I found some helpful references:

1. 5 ways to build lasting self-esteem
2. Raising low self-esteem

Maybe I'll start by listing some good things about me, like how I would describe a good friend.